Car = Money Pit

I'm dissapointed with myself recently. A self-fix turned out to be a disaster that requires an entire part replacement. That costs alot of $$$ (about 900 to be exact). This is a huge dissapointment but there comes a time when you really got to cut your losses and just bite the bullet. The store all started when I got a tiny chip on my windshield, it wasn't big enough to merit a trip to the autoglass shop but it was annoying so me with my idiot bright ideas decided to polish it out myself... Against what should've been my good judgement I went online and got myself a glass polishing kit. I thought literally how hard could it be? Big mistake that whole fiasco was, istead of repairing the tempered glass it made the whole thing worse to the point that one can argue it's a driving hazard. This is terrible, I totally love my car but I hate how it always sucks money from me, and I am to blame this time (again).

It seems that I can fix anything mechanically wrong with the car but I really should not try and replace / repair anything cosmetic cause I suck at it. I totally suck at it.... So I'm sort of set back a week, it's almost like not getting 1 week's pay will it be worth it in the end? I don't know, but I'll probably feel better once this whole thing is over with.

And on that note once the service is done I vow to myself that I won't do any car crap for the rest of the year until school starts. It's just becomming too costly and for a highway car it keeps getting stone chips or various chips from everything these damn things are too fragile. Almost makes me wish I got an old banger so I woudn't care, sometimes I think that would be ultimately cheaper.

On a side note I really should be concentrating on my Grad School stuff, but admist all this chaos I'm finding it quite hard, I really wish I can get a bit of calm so I can sort this out but that isn't going to happen and I know it so I better get on top of all this. At least I'm studying the GRE, even though it's what I would consider a slow rate right now no more than 5 or so pages of practice test a day mostly on the English sections. Really my only hope is to be able to take the GRE test by September but that also means I'll need my universities scouted out before then which I haven't been doing lately.

The most difficult part really is that work, personal liabilities (car), and school don't mix at all. What's eating up the most time is switching between these, but I intend to emerge out of this month more on top of things than last so it's time to kick my ass into shape.

Who's the stronger?

Modern society has a problem of identifying our crazy perception of strength. Actually this can be traced back all the way to the spartians. We always honor our fallen in war saying how "they were brave". Not to be disrespectful or anything but what if they were stupid? If I ran into a hail of mini-gun fire I'm brave, but if I throw a smoke grenade and use cleaver tactics to slip through without having to face the minigun I'm not smart, no I'm being cowardly. This is just a rediculous way of thinking, sometimes if your in a ditch and that's keeping you safer that is the more correct thing to do, not jump over and get shot. Here in lies the problem, the people that die are brave and honored, the people that make it back as in the spartian days are considered cowards or suspected as such, if the rest of your company dies.

I think it's the opposite the ones that come back have proven their darwinistic advantage. That should be honored, and if that means they hid in a whole until it was safe there's NOTHING wrong with that in my opinion.

Why us monkeys are brainwashed to believe that the correct tactic is to run like duck madly flailing along with our rifles while getting our head shot off is beyond me. Anyone that uses tactics is considered, cheap, unfair, or not honorable. Excuse me but if it was a 1 on 1 match and I can beat you buy throwing sand in your face, then I will throw sand in your face. It's not personal it's just WAR and all is fair.

Before I get a million angry comments I respect and fully appreciate what our armed forces are doing to protect what little rights our current goverment is trying equally as hard to strip away. I'm just a little pissed that most people don't know how wrong their perceptions of what's fair is when it comes to the subject of actual combat.